When fiancés sign a marriage license, it’s with the intention of devoting their time, love, and attention to making a relationship work. Unfortunately, and for endless reasons, over 40% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. It’s easy to feel betrayed and resentful when your heart is broken and you’re facing asset negotiations, child custody determinations, and costly legal fees. But what about happiness? Divorce is rarely a “happy” legal process, but here are some considerations that may help you spin a more positive outlook.
Tip #1: Accept That Your Marriage Is Over
Accepting that your marriage is over may be the most challenging tip on this list. Many former spouses complete the divorce process in a state of disbelief or denial. Because of this, they can’t process the reality of the situation, and it often hurts divorce negotiations and their ability to move on.
Your marriage is over. It may be painful and difficult to accept this fact, but it’s extremely important for your mental health. A relationship ends because of irrevocable issues and individual growth. You don’t want to be married to someone who doesn’t share your love or hopes for the future. Holding on to a failing relationship only builds mutual resentment and exacerbates the problems existing in your marriage. You can reflect on your loss, but focus your attention on rebuilding your life and seeking new and true happiness.
Tip #2: Understand That You Didn’t Fail
Divorce is an emotional process, and it’s important to analyze and understand the feelings you’re experiencing. When a marriage has run its course, its usually after years of distance and conflict. Many people cling to old relationships because they confuse their feelings of failure with genuine loss.
After putting so much of your time and energy into a relationship, it’s easy to feel like a failure when a marriage doesn’t work out. It’s important to realize that you aren’t a failure. You took a chance on love, built a life with your spouse, and grew as a person from the experience.
Tip #3: Play Nice
Couples who act irrationally and lash out at each other tend to make their divorces more painful and complicated. Negotiating with an ex is difficult, but you don’t want to spend months battling over assets and custody decisions. This path leads to bitterness, not happiness. Regardless of how your ex is behaving, it’s important that you keep a cool head. Being civil can only benefit your court case and simplify the proceedings.
Also, it’s important to remember that your ex may still be in your life after the divorce is finalized. If you can manufacture a positive relationship with your ex, it will provide stability and comfort to your children.
Tip #4: Hire an Excellent Divorce Lawyer
It’s important to work with a lawyer before making any important divorce agreements. Contact the Arnold Law Group, APC if you or your spouse is planning to file for divorce. In California, there is a mandatory 6-month waiting period before your divorce can be finalized. During this time, our Fresno divorce attorneys can help you account for marital assets, design a case strategy, develop a parenting plan, and negotiate a settlement.
Call the Arnold Law Group, APC at (559) 900-1263 to schedule a consultation.