When fiancés sign a marriage license, it’s with the intention
of devoting their time, love, and attention to making a relationship work.
Unfortunately, and for endless reasons, over 40% of all marriages in the
United States end in divorce. It’s easy to feel betrayed and resentful
when your heart is broken and you’re facing asset negotiations,
child custody determinations, and costly legal fees. But what about happiness? Divorce is rarely a
“happy” legal process, but here are some considerations that
may help you spin a more positive outlook.
Tip #1: Accept That Your Marriage Is Over
Accepting that your marriage is over may be the most challenging tip on
this list. Many former spouses complete the divorce process in a state
of disbelief or denial. Because of this, they can’t process the
reality of the situation, and it often hurts divorce negotiations and
their ability to move on.
Your marriage is over. It may be painful and difficult to accept this fact,
but it’s extremely important for your mental health. A relationship
ends because of irrevocable issues and individual growth. You don’t
want to be married to someone who doesn’t share your love or hopes
for the future. Holding on to a failing relationship only builds mutual
resentment and exacerbates the problems existing in your marriage. You
can reflect on your loss, but focus your attention on rebuilding your
life and seeking new and true happiness.
Tip #2: Understand That You Didn’t Fail
Divorce is an emotional process, and it’s important to analyze and
understand the feelings you’re experiencing. When a marriage has
run its course, its usually after years of distance and conflict. Many
people cling to old relationships because they confuse their feelings
of failure with genuine loss.
After putting so much of your time and energy into a relationship, it’s
easy to feel like a failure when a marriage doesn’t work out. It’s
important to realize that you aren’t a failure. You took a chance
on love, built a life with your spouse, and grew as a person from the
experience.
Tip #3: Play Nice
Couples who act irrationally and lash out at each other tend to make their
divorces more painful and complicated. Negotiating with an ex is difficult,
but you don’t want to spend months battling over assets and custody
decisions. This path leads to bitterness, not happiness. Regardless of
how your ex is behaving, it’s important that you keep a cool head.
Being civil can only benefit your court case and simplify the proceedings.
Also, it’s important to remember that your ex may still be in your
life after the divorce is finalized. If you can manufacture a positive
relationship with your ex, it will provide stability and comfort to your children.
Tip #4: Hire an Excellent Divorce Lawyer
It’s important to work with a lawyer before making any important
divorce agreements. Contact the Arnold Law Group, APC if you or your spouse
is planning to file for divorce. In California, there is a mandatory 6-month
waiting period before your divorce can be finalized. During this time, our
Fresno divorce attorneys can help you account for marital assets, design a case strategy, develop
a parenting plan, and negotiate a settlement.
Call the Arnold Law Group, APC
at (559) 900-1263 to schedule a consultation.