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Tips on Communicating with Your Spouse During Separation


How to Communicate with Spouse During Separation

For many couples, maintaining open and respectful communication is often difficult, especially if they struggled for years to communicate effectively during the marriage.

During your divorce, communication is more important than ever and is often the key to resolving critical issues and making sure your children’s needs are met.

At the Arnold Law Group, APC, we encourage our clients to keep the lines of communication open and to make sure their correspondences are civil and productive.

Below are some helpful communication tips for separated spouses:

Establish Boundaries, and Make Them Clear

Start off by discussing your preferred method of communication and how often the two of you will discuss issues.

If you are uncomfortable meeting your spouse in person, then suggest that communication is by phone, text, or email. Make it known whether you want to only respond to emergency requests or whether you are okay with constant calls.

By setting up and asserting your boundaries, you can avoid unnecessarily stressful correspondence and requests.

Take Your Time to Respond

Don’t feel the need to respond immediately to every message. Take your time to provide a thoughtful and respectful response.

Focus on the Issues at Hand

Dealing with a spouse can be emotional, and you may feel the urge to bring up past issues or engage in back-and-forth arguments. Do your best to focus on the topic of discussion.

If you are talking about your children, only focus on custody matters.

This way, you can have more productive conversations on important issues.

Pay Attention to Your Tone

Maintain a cordial and respectful tone when talking to your spouse. Avoid shouting or speaking in a sarcastic or demeaning manner.

The tone you use can set a precedent for how the entire divorce case unfolds.

If your spouse decides to speak to you this way, consider having your attorney step in.


A mediator is a neutral third party who can help both sides come to a mutual agreement on many issues. If you are having difficulty settling disputes, a mediator can help steer both of you towards a positive settlement.

During your divorce, it is best that parties conduct themselves in a respectful and dignified manner – and this includes on social media.

Venting about your case or sharing photos of your lifestyle can trigger your spouse to act in a hostile or unfriendly manner, which can potentially delay or complicate your case.

If your spouse starts behaving in an antagonistic manner, you may have no other option than to have him or her communicates through your attorney.

Experienced Fresno Divorce Attorneys on Your Side

No matter how complicated or stressful your divorce becomes, the Arnold Law Group, APC is here to help.

We understand the many challenges that couples face during the divorce process and how heated disputes can get.

Our Fresno divorce lawyers can provide real solutions and help ease the anxieties and pain through your case. Schedule a private consultation and let’s discuss your situation.

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