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Breaking the Ice: Talking to Your Fiancé about Drafting a Prenup


American popular culture has reframed weddings into being the ultimate celebrations of love and romance. However, you and your spouse have many important decisions to make before you walk down the aisle and declare, I do!” While planning for a wedding includes dress shopping and cake testing, planning for a long-term marriage necessitates a little more work.

Explaining the Benefits of a Prenup

Quite frankly, discussing the benefits of a prenuptial agreement, or “prenup,” is likely the last conversation you want to have with your fiancé. After all, the topic doesn’t exactly echo “till death do us part.” Even so, a prenuptial agreement is an important contract that protects your assets and property in a divorce. Most importantly, this legal document can circumvent future marital troubles and disagreements because spouses are able to address their deep-rooted relationship anxieties in a safe space. Both partners can enter their marriage with an absolute understanding of their individual and shared marital obligations.

A prenuptial agreement addresses the following divorce issues:

  • How should assets and property be divided?
  • Which properties are held jointly or individually?
  • Who is responsible for paying certain debts?
  • How is child custody going to be determined?
  • Which spouse is going to pay alimony?
  • What happens to any jointly-owned businesses?
  • How much financial support should be given to children from previous marriages?

By having this legal document prepared in advance, you may be able to expedite the overall divorce process because most of the determinations have already been discussed and agreed upon. Not only can a prenup save you time and money, it can also protect you from a stressful and bitter divorce.

Choosing the Right Time & Place

Again, your fiancé probably isn’t going to be thrilled that you want to have this conversation at all, so it’s important to be tactful when introducing the topic. For example, you don’t want to say “I think I want a prenup” right when your fiancé is taste testing your future wedding cake. That’s just going to sour the romantic ambiance and put your fiancé on edge. This conversation requires a positive frame of mine, not a fear of cold feet.

Do not start the conversation:

  • During a romantic dinner
  • In the middle of a wedding-related event
  • With family or friends around
  • During a fight
  • At night before bed

This isn’t a conversation you can just jump into. You need to create a safe space where you and your fiancé can talk privately and transparently about your individual needs. It’s important to avoid misunderstandings, so you need to be clear about how this can benefit your relationship instead of turning the conversation into a one-sided demand. Unfortunately, over 40% of all marriages end in divorce. People naturally change as they grow, and it’s natural for relationships to also change shape. A prenup is about planning for the future by addressing the serious issues that can make or break a marriage.

Because this is such a difficult conversation, you may not immediately get the response you want. Above all else, you don’t want to turn this topic into an ultimatum. You and your fiancé are getting married with the intention of becoming life partners in every sense of the word. You need to be able to have these tough conversations and become closer and stronger for it. This means that sometimes you have to risk disappointing your partner to ultimately build a stable and healthy marriage.

Schedule a Consultation

The court is legally bound to follow the arrangements listed in a valid prenuptial agreement. If you’re interested in drafting or amending a prenup or postnup, contact the Fresno prenuptial agreement attorneys at Arnold Law Group, APC. We can guide you through each step of the process and ensure that your agreement is legally valid.

Contact Arnold Law Group, APC at (559) 900-1263 to schedule a consultation.

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